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Andy24 · Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:17 pm Post subject: My Story

My Whole world seemed to change dramatically in 1992. I was retired from my work as a nurse, on

Ill-health grounds. How was I going to keep up with my mortgage payments, ok my partner worked

As a nurse, but suddenly living on one salary and me on benefits, how would we cope?

Consequently we didn’t, and eventually we had to move home, letting the mortgage provider put the

House up for sale. Thankfully we found another 3-bedroom house owned by a private landlord

And we managed to get the property to rent. I suddenly felt relieved as though a heavy weight had

Been lifted from my shoulders, ok we still had financial problems but after visiting a CAB worker,

She helped us by writing to the building society and explaining the situation, there was no way they

They could recover any of the mortgage at that time, and things seemed slightly better. I still felt

Unwell however, I seemed to be totally fatigued some days, as though the very essence of my

Being had been drained from me. I still was determined to try and be of some use within society so

I got involved with Age Concern, and became an unpaid Client advocate. My nursing experience

Stood me in good stead as I had specialised in care of the elderly, and thoroughly enjoyed it. My

Main health problem was cervical spondylosis, a sort of arthritis, which is wear and tear on the neck

Vertebrae and I had been diagnosed with Hiatus Hernia, and Asthma, The spondylosis actually

Affected my spine and I would suffer from low back pain which in turn affected my mobility, but

Never one to give in, I continued with the advocacy work. The tiredness got no better, in fact some

Days it was extremely difficult to drag myself out of bed what with the pain and fatigue. I took

Myself back to my GP and asked for advice. The GP though I was depressed and prescribed

Prozac, I refused to take it! I insisted on seeing a neurologist as I had started to get dizziness

Problems too, and a feeling of disorientation. The neurologist saw me and decided that everything

Was fine, after ordering an MRI scan, and put it down to being over anxious, in his letter to my GP

Which I read, he said I was suffering from ‘paramedic’ syndrome, I was furious! Firstly I had never

Been a paramedic but a nurse, but secondly and probably THE most important point was he felt I

Was imagining things, they were all in the mind! The GP was very sympathetic but reassured me

That he didn’t think I was imagining my symptoms, but definitely thought I was depressed and was
Heading for some sort of breakdown! I again refused to take anti-depressants. I would spend hours on the telephone speaking to friends and relatives, it helped me a lot just to talk but no way was I taking any anti depressant drugs. Things went on, sometimes I felt better, somedays were bad, I developed muscle and joint pain and thought Oh well, must be all the heavy lifting I did while at work, then we didn’t have the luxury of hoists to lift the patients, we had to bodily lift them. Things went on, month after month, year after year, I would see my GP at regular intervals, just to keep a check on me, then through a disagreement with another doctor at the practice I was removed from the panel list in 2000 and had to find a new GP.
The new GP was a welcoming breath of fresh air, he would listen to what I had to say, and then in 2001 the most bizarre things happened, I had taken a bath and after drying off, I leaned over the bath to start to clean it out, as I leaned over my vision suddenly went black, my hearing too suddenly went, the sweat was pouring from me, fortunately my partner was nearby and got me onto a seat and held me, I though I was going to die, I couldn’t keep still, I was unaware of what was happening and very frightened, My first thought was I had suffered a stroke or a brain haemorrhage . After about 20 minutes I started to pull round, my partner giving me some water to sip, but I felt very weak. I wouldn’t go to the doctors but took myself to bed saying it would pass off and sure enough it did, but the weakness lingered. After Christmas I decided to go back to the GP, and explained the whole thing, I didn’t see my own doctor but another doctor who told me plainly and simply I would have to ‘live with it’ he couldn’t do anything for me. I was mortified and came home where I went to bed, and apart from getting up to go to the bathroom, I remained there for 10 weeks! My partner was frustrated as I was showing no signs of improvement, every single day I would dissolve into tears at the slightest thing, my own doctor was called, my mother also intervened and spoke to the doctor, he came into to see me on a regular basis, but still I wouldn’t take the antidepressants. Over the next 2 years life was a complete hell! I saw about 16 consultants all of different specialities, I had numerous tests, mostly which I paid for, and to see the consultants, as I felt time was running out, I was going to die! I couldn’t possibly wait to be seen on the NHS, I definitely thought I had something-sinister wrong with me, from a Brain tumour to Mad Cow disease!
Then finally I saw a Consultant who specialised in Stroke services, due to the fact on one of my numerous visits to A and E, a Houseman thought I had suffered a stroke. From then on things started to move forward, I was referred on to another neurologist who decided that there was definitely something neurological going on, but all the tests were inconclusive. To date I have had at least 5 MRI scans, 4 CT scans on head and neck eye tests, ear tests, and my dizziness and lack of co-ordination is unbelievably distressing, but thanks to this guy I am learning to live with it, I have to, it has been now over 5 years, and somedays are fairly good, some days are bad, no medication that I’ve taken to control the dizziness works, it feels constantly as though I’m on a fairground ride! Somedays I stumble and fall, other days I don’t, but I do have faith in the neurologist and my GP now, They both think that M.E. is the problem and although I haven’t really accepted the diagnosis I have learned to live with the symptoms. Maybe one day they will find a cure, but until then I wake every day, and thank God that I’m still alive, I’ve learnt to control the panic and anxiety attacks, not easy I know, and sometimes I can still be overwhelmed, and certainly stress doesn’t help, but I keep hoping that at some point they’ll find a drug to help me if not cure me, but not an anti depressant!

Copyright: 15/01/2007.

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Andy Roo. xxx